…yet it’s one of the hardest things in the world to find. What is it? Confidence.
With realization of one’s own potential and self-confidence in one’s ability, one can build a better world.
~Dalai Lama
After I wrote an article recently about Women, Beauty, and Money, it got me thinking about why it is I spend so much time, and more importantly, so much money on beauty products that only can mask so much of what is going on on the inside.
I’ve never been the most overly-confident person in the world. One of my worst demons is comparing myself to others, and feeling disappointed in myself when I fall short of my own expectations. I’m also fairly introverted.
My confidence was hit especially hard four and a half years ago, when my life really began to fall apart.
First my boyfriend of five years broke up with me suddenly. This is the man I truly thought I would spend the rest of my life with.
A couple of months later I found out I was going to be laid off from my job of eight years.
My brother was also still having a hard time recovering from cancer, and another one of my very good friends (almost like a sister) lost her battle with cancer.
In the four years since, I’ve had very few dates. I guess there is some relief in knowing that a good majority of my girlfriends, some of whom are really (and I’m not just saying this) gorgeous, are in the same exact boat. And we often have conversations as to why.
One of the reasons for me, and I think for some of my friends, is that no matter how “pretty” we look on the outside, we are lacking confidence, and that just isn’t “attractive” not just in just finding a significant other, but also in finding work and making friends.
Let’s face it, I think we’ve all seen people who weren’t “the ideal standards of beauty,” who just seem to own a room when they walk in. Who easily attract people. I doubt it’s because they spent $80 on the newest skin brightening serum. It’s because they feel good on the inside, and you just want to be around them.
I’m definitely not saying you should forgo good hygiene because you feel good about yourself, or throw all your makeup out, because I do believe those things DO coincide with feeling good on the inside. What I’m saying is I personally need to focus more on radiating beauty from the inside, because no amount of expensive toner is going to make a difference (believe me, I’ve tried). And honestly, I’ve used both expensive products and cheaper ones, and I hardly notice a difference.
So where to start?
Well, I think getting control of my finances is a good place to start, because it’s one less thing I’m worried and stressed about, and stress is the biggest ager of them all!
Knowing I’m in control of my financial destiny (and yes that means planning for unexpected emergencies so when they happen I have it covered), will be such a HUGE step in feeling confident about myself.
I read an article today from Purpose Fairy called 15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy. It reminded me of some of the things I need to let go of in order to re-build my self-confidence.
I’ll get there…
Baby steps…
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